Light was edging around the slats of the blinds, and the birds were going nuts in the trees outside the window. Terry looked over at Craig's sleeping form, naked, the sheet kicked off, unneeded with the warmth of another in the bed. He gazed lustfully at the dream of a bear lying there, golden in the early morning light. He sighed and shifted position to relieve his aching leg, and went back to sleep. But the movement woke Craig.
Craig's eyes opened wide at first, startled to be in bed with another person, but then he smiled and looked with affection at Terry. His body was similar to his own, just a bit smaller. Thick in the middle; well, thick everywhere. A broad back and shoulders, a solid pair of legs that ended in short but wide feet. Terry's hands matched his feet, blunt and wide, competent looking. His chest and belly were thickly furred with dark brown, almost black hair. He already knew from scrubbing his back in the shower that Terry had some hair there, but nowhere near the crop he grew in front or on his butt. His beard stubble was widespread and growing fast. Craig mused that he'd have a substantial beard in a month or so. The sexy swell of his belly made Craig want to stroke and caress it, and he did so. When Terry's eyes opened, Craig pulled him in close for a kiss.
“Did y'all get any sleep?” He stroked the thick hair on Terry's belly.
“A little. How about you?”
“A little. I'm good, though. You want breakfast? You need to get up and pee?” Craig started to get up, but Terry put a restraining arm on him.
“Stay here a bit, buddy. It's a nice thing to do, cuddle and just be easy with each other, especially after such a nice time the night before.”
Craig eased back down on the bed, laying on his back and tucking his arms behind his head while Terry moved in close to his side and rested his arm and hand on the bigger bear's chest.
“I hope I didn't hurt you last night,” Craig said, concern showing in his voice.
“Nah. It's just been a really long time, I mean since I've been with another guy. To get fucked. I mean years.” Terry kept his face close the fur on Craig's body, inhaling the musky odor of man mixed with sex.
“That's a long time. Were you in a... I mean, did y'all have a, a 'partner'?
“You mean, was I in a long term relationship? Yeah. Eight years.”
“Wow, that's nice. Tell me about it?”Craig said, turning his head towards Terry.
“You sure you want to hear this? It's not that exciting; boring, really.” Terry looked up at Craig.
“Yeah, I do. I told you mine, you tell me yours.” The soft southern accent was more noticable when Craig was relaxed.
Terry laughed at the mild joke. Craig was loosening up, relaxing, and the attempts at humor were good signs.
“Well, you know I came out after high school. I didn't time it real good. Dad had died of a heart attack just after I'd graduated. I should have waited longer to hit mom with the news, but I was all fired up about being 'honest' and 'not living a lie'. She didn't take it well, and we argued. She insisted it was just a phase, that I'd grow out of it. I should have known that she hadn't had anywhere near time enough to grieve over dad. I guess all that anger and sadness got focused on my “news”. We argued a lot, and that last one was a real knock down drag out doozie. My brother was home from college for the weekend, and my sister still lived at home. They got a real earful. We both lost it, and mom said she never wanted to see me again, and kept going on how she was glad dad was dead so he didn't have to know one of his sons was a queer. I know she really didn't mean all the things she said, that it was her grief talking, but, well... Mom died that night. The paramedics said they thought it was a stroke, and my brother and sister blamed me for her dying like that.”
Craig cuddled Terry close. “That's terrible. I'm sorry, it must have hurt y'all a lot, especially after having lost your daddy so close.”
Terry nodded and continued, “A couple of weeks later I had to get some papers signed by her doc for the insurance company. He told me then that the time she had been in the hospital about three years earlier hadn't been for exhaustion and a viral infection. That's what she insisted we be told. It was for extreme high blood pressure and a mild stroke. Mom hated the idea of being seen as physically weak. She was so proud of never having been sick a day in her life except for colds. He had been treating her with some pretty heavy doses of blood pressure and blood thinner medications, but she had complained that they made her feel dizzy all the time.
When I got home, I checked all the drawers in their bedroom and bathroom. No meds, not even an empty bottle. But I did find four prescriptions for the meds, each dated six months apart. I think for the last two years, she'd gotten the prescriptions but never had them filled.”
“Because of the dizziness, y'think?”
“Maybe. But I think it was more the cost. When dad died, so did his health insurance. Mom was too young for Medicare, and made just enough money from Dad's pension to not qualify for Medicaid. I checked. The meds would have been almost $300 a month. I know the mortgage on the house would have taken a lot of the pension money, so I guess she economized by not getting the prescriptions filled. I wonder if she thought she could hold out until the mortgage was paid off, and maybe then start on the medication again.”
“So it wasn't you fault. Did y'all tell your brother and sister?”
“Yeah. But it didn't make any difference. They said if I hadn't told mom, she'd have lived a lot longer. And if I wasn't gay, she'd still be alive now.”
“Now, that's not logical. If she was that sick, like her doc says, she.... “
“Tell Aaron and Cindy that.” The bitterness in Terry's voice was plain. “Anyway, I had a scholarship to UC, and I moved out. If they didn't want me, I didn't want them. I got a job tending bar to cover my share of an apartment. After graduating, I got a job with a local architectural firm. And I started clubbing. I was determined to make up for lost time. I did my share of tricks, and then I fell in love. Hard.” Terry paused.
“He was a bit of a slut, really. Looking back, all the signs were there. But I loved him, and I didn't pay attention. We moved in together, and, to give him credit, he really did try to make it work out. We both did, me probably more than him, I guess. Anyway, we'd fight and make up, fight and make up. It got almost to be a joke with our friends. But I was never cut out for the club scene and the bars. I learned that early on. He was. It was like air or food to him. He did love me. I know that, but he just had to play around. He always came back, and he was always careful.”
“What happened? Craig asked quietly. He sensed there was more to the story. He rested his hand lightly on Terry's belly.
“We had a fight over his staying out so much during the week and coming home drunk, or near to it. He stormed out, but he didn't go to a bar. He drove up into the hills and parked at one of those 'scenic outlook' places off the highway. He called me from there, and apologized, said he would change and could he come home. Of course I said yes, and he hung up and drove back. Our usual pattern.”
“The hospital called me later that night. A drunk driver rammed him and ran him off the highway coming down out of the hills. I got there and was allowed to see him. I held him while he said how funny it was he hadn't gone out a bar to get drunk. If he had, he'd be OK. How ironic it was that a drunk did this to him. Then he died.”
Craig gulped and hugged Terry and didn't say anything.
“I went into a bit of a tailspin for a while, but I guess deep down, I knew it couldn't have worked out between us. We were just too 'opposite'. If he hadn't died like that, I would have ended it, really ended it, eventually. Anyway, I listened to a co-worker who said I could mope around, or accept that something bad had happened and get on with living. I got myself together and began developing a client base of my own. I set up my own office, designing house rehabs and remodels of business spaces. I liked the challenge of getting my own business started and it used up a lot of time. When things finally got profitable, I started dating a bit again. Geez, now that's depressing. All the available ones are either skinny twinks who can barely put a coherent sentence together, or seriously unemployed types looking for a sugar daddy. The few who were bearish and employed, well...” Terry stopped.
Craig hugged him again and said, “What?”
“Well, it's mostly my fault, I know, but I just couldn't get over feeling that they'd turn out like Bobby had. Unable to fully commit, always straying and expecting to come back. It probably wasn't fair of me, but I just couldn't shake that feeling. Every time I'd go out, I imagine I'd be seeing the signs that I'd refused to see with Bobby. They could be the nicest guy in the world (and a couple of them really were nice), and I'd start seeing or imagining flaws. There weren't very many second dates. I know its possible for gay men to make a relationship work, it just didn't seem that I could anymore. So, I sort of gave up looking. I did my work, I socialized with some friends from the Bobby days that still kept up contact, very occasionally had a one night stand, which just reinforced my views. Gradually, I accepted that I wasn't going to find someone.”
Craig rolled on his side again so he could face Terry directly. “Is this like that, do you think?”
“I don't know. I just don't know. I don't think it's like the others, I don't think you are like the others. God knows I want this to be different.” Terry fell silent, and after a bit hugged Craig.
“Sorry to have dumped all this on you. Here I was, telling you how to behave the morning after, and I go and get all depressing on you.”
“Hey! I asked you, didn't I? I wanted to know about you. Last night was important to me. I wouldn't trade it for anything, no matter what happens.” He put a paw on Terry's side and pulled him in close.
“Remember your saying that I was natural and right, that I was exactly the way I was supposed to be? I think last night was natural and right... that it was supposed to happen. I'm not very good at expressing things, but that's what I think. I think we were meant to happen. Y'all've helped me see myself as I am, and accept that. Maybe I can help you accept that we're worth a try.”
Silence filled the room. Craig waited, watching Terry with the same grave, quiet look he'd had a month earlier when he'd first brought Terry back home from the hospital.
“Well, say something...” Craig feared he had gone too far. After all, he was almost completely new to any kind of relationship, let alone a gay one. Terry looked steadily into Craig's gray eyes.
A beautiful grin split Craig's face and he pulled Terry in tight for a prolonged kiss.
Their kiss started as a tender one, lips touching and softly opening, tongues gently touching and tracing the inside of each other's lips, then retreating. But nature is wise, and will not be denied. Passion rose, and soon both bears were urgently pressing against each other, hands caressing, then gripping, cocks surging erect, straining against the other. Terry pulled Craig on top of him, reveling in the furry weight covering and warming him. Soon, though, Craig rolled over and off and traded places, pulling the slightly smaller Terry on top of him, running his paws up and down Terry's lightly-furred back and cupping his much more substantially furred butt.
“Oh, God!” Craig breathed in almost a whisper. “I can feel your cock against mine... so warm.” The alternated kissing passionately and nuzzling each others chests and necks, with Terry rubbing his nose in Craig's dense blond beard, inhaling the slightly spicy scent he found there. It was intoxicating, and drove Terry to greater heights of desire. He clutched at Craig's sturdy body and chewed on his nips, licked all the fur he could reach, and lapped repeatedly at his pits.
Craig writhed and moaned, straining his body against Terry's. “Terry, please. Fuck me. I want you to fuck me. I need you. Please.”
Terry slowed his assault on the big bear's body and looked directly in his eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Have you ever done this?”
Craig impatiently shook his head.
“Craig, I want to make love to you, but we'll go real easy then. Don't worry, I'll be real careful... oh, hell... I want to fuck that gorgeous ass of yours so bad!” Terry stopped talking and rolled on his back, his stiff erection pointing at an angle towards his head. “I'm not sure I can manage all fours, and for your first time, you sitting on me is probably better anyway. Hand me the lube.”
Craig did so, and then asked if he could slick Terry's cock. Terry nodded, and Craig took his time about spreading the lube all over Terry's member, top to bottom. He started to rise up to position himself over Terry, but was stopped by Terry's restraining hand.
“Here, let me loosen you up a bit. It will make things easier. Turn around.” Craig moved so his butt was facing Terry. Terry worked his lubed finger into Craig's butt, hearing his grunt upon entry and feeling the bear's muscle ring tighten. “Easy... easy.” Craig lapped at Terry's tight ball sack while Terry worked his finger carefully in and out, and when he felt Craig relax enough, he worked a second finger in. He stretched the ring gently with his fingers, working it and murmuring admiring words about Craig's body. Eventually, Craig was pushing back on Terry's hand, eager to get as much length into him as he could.
“OK, buddy. Now you can get over here and let me fuck that hot ass of yours!” Craig scrambled around and sat, poised, over Terry's rigid meat. He began to slower himself until he touched Terry's tip. They both sighed, and Craig repeatedly tried to push himself down, but to no avail.
“I don't think I can do this,” he said. He pushed his hips down again, and his ass ring clamped shut. “I'm too tight.” He was breathing rapidly, and becoming more frustrated.
“Craig, stop pushing. Just sit there, hold up just enough to keep from pushing down hard. Just maintain contact. Yeah, that's it. Just sit there. Feel me there. How warm.... soft, yet hard. Oh, yeah. Fuck, man, you feel so good. God, you know how handsome and sexy you look, sitting like that? Just stay right there.... yeah, just like that. You are a dream come true for this bear. So nice....”
Suddenly, Craig's muscles relaxed and Terry's slick pole parted his ass and slid in. As the tip passed the muscle ring, Craig grunted out loud and stopped the motion.
Terry looked at him. “OK?”
“Oh, yeah... a lot more than OK. But y'all are so big.... I mean, y'all feel so big in there...”
“That's OK, the hard part's over. I'm not really that big, just average. But it's your first time... just keep relaxed and lower yourself when you feel ready. You don't have to take me all at once. Nice and easy.”
Craig looked at Terry, grinned, and sat down on him and engulfed his cock, his butt firmly against Terry's balls and cock hair.
“Damn!” Terry exploded.
“Heehee... I did it! Got ya all in!” Craig grinned down at his buddy.
“You sure did! Damn me, but that's a rush! Aw, buddy...” Terry put his hands on Craig's hairy thighs and stroked them. “You move as much as you want, when you want. Fuck yourself on me. I may not cum this way, but you'll get well and truly fucked, just take your time and next time will be a lot easier.”
For the next ten minutes or so, Craig did a dance on Terry's cock, exploring different angles and ways of moving, giving his own erecting meat strokes and playing with Terry's nipples, too. Leaning back as far as he could, he drove Terry's cock in as deep as it would go. The pressure and heat of Craig's insides, the knowledge that he was deep in his friend, that this big, gorgeous bear had allowed him inside, pushed Terry over the edge. He bucked, grunting and straining, and finally surged upwards as he began pumping his life deep inside the blond bear. “Oh, my GOD! Yes! Fuck, YES!!” Terry cried out as he came.
Craig hung on, and felt the hot gush of Terry's seed flood into his ass. He grabbed Terry's arms and held on tight as his buddy drained his balls. One final spasm, and Terry subsided, and Craig leaned down, gasping, and kissed Terry deeply.
He leaned further forward, and Terry's softening dick plopped out, followed by some of his cum. Craig covered the body of his lover with his own, and held him. No words were spoken, but Terry felt the wet of Craig's tears on the side of his face that was pressed against Craig's. They lay, silent, for a long time.
Craig finally rolled off of Terry and asked, “How's your leg?”
“It's fine. No worries.” He paused. “How are you? Did I hurt?”
“Oh, sweet Jesus, I feel great! And no, I'm good. But.... “ Craig paused. “Thank you. I understand now; how y'all could like it, I mean. I never felt that close to someone.”
Terry smiled and put a hand on Craig's face and beard. “I'm so glad.”
The two lay there for a while longer, both thinking about what has just happened, both content, both pleased with each other and happy. Just before dozing off, Terry wrapped his arms around Craig's furred torso and gently hugged. “I love you.”
Craig sighed and snuggled against his lover. “I love you,” he replied. They drifted off to sleep holding on to each other.
* * *
“Hey buddy, I'm home!” Craig set a sack of groceries down on the counter and began to put things away in the fridge. Terry came down the hall from his office and hugged his bear from behind.
“Holy God, you smell good!”
“I stink like a billy goat. It's fucking HOT out there. I need a shower.” The big sweaty blond bear turned and hugged his partner back, then bent his head and kissed him, nuzzling his thick red-blond beard against his lover's heavy brown one.
“I made a decision today,” Terry said.
“Uh-oh. That means money. I just know it.” Craig's grin took the seriousness out of his words. “What's up?”
“I agree with you. We should knock that wall out and extend the bathroom.”
“Woo HOO! “ he whooped. “Y'all've come to your senses. At last... a shower we can turn around in! Yes!” Craig pumped his fist in the air.
“But wait... there's more!” Terry walked quickly back to his office and returned with a roll of paper. “I think we should extend the whole side of the house. That would give us room to make a nice workroom for you, give you room to display your models. And we could even get space for a guest bedroom for when we have bears visit if we bring this wall back some. There will be more room when we have the guys over. Look, I drew up some sketches to give an idea of how it would look. See, if we knock out the wall from here to...”
Craig gazed fondly at his mate's enthusiasm as Terry rattled on. Four years hadn't dimmed the sense of wonder he still got when he thought of how much he loved this man and how fundamentally right their lives together seemed to him now. They had both slowly reached out to a small circle of friends who were a supportive 'family' that loved and watched out for each other. His receptionist at the clinic was right... 'cure' dealt with the physical, but 'healing' was about the recovery of the soul. He put his arm across Terry's shoulders and leaned over the counter and joined him in looking carefully at the plans his mate had drawn.