Unk'l Grizz's Filthy Filks and Reprehensible Rhymes

(Most recent posts will be at the top here... for older posts, you will need to scroll down -- there's a LOT here!.)


A Yuletide carol, being sung in the polar vortex...



Oh the weather outside can bite me
My truck won't start to spite me
And I can't feel my darned toes
Winter blows
Winter blows
Winter blows!


A special treat for all y'all, by Unk'l Grizz




One of our friends created this little story for us to share:

  An English gentleman, dressed for a rustic setting, with a
 thick horseshoe mustache and sideburns, leaned against a gate
 between two high hedges, gazing into a meadow.  A second gent,
 similarly attired, with a thick dark beard, steps up behind him
 and they stand together companionably.  Then the first
 spoke.


 "You know, Clive..."

"Yes, Wilford?"

"I do believe your  engorged cock is stuck in my ass."

"Hmm...I do believe you are  right.  Perhaps we should do something about that."

 (Some manly  grunting ensues for a few minutes)

 "I must say, Clive, that is a  fine cock you have.  Thick and meaty, and with a splendid red
 color."


"Thank you, Wilford.  However, it is nothing compared to  this beautiful ass of yours.  So firm and well-muscled, it must  get a lot of praise.  And the fur on it is simply  delightful."

"Thank you in turn, Clive.  Hrrrrm.  I think we are  quite close now."

"Indeed." (More manly grunting) "I  think...yes.   It's very close.  I almost....yes....YES!!"

"Ah,  that is much better.  That cock must have been very  uncomfortable with its head stuck in the saddlebag of my  ass."

"Definitely, but it was too interested in the seed corn  inside to free itself. Frightfully sorry about that."

"Think nothing of it,  Clive.  There is plenty and to spare.  That cock must make your
 hens very happy."


"It does, thank you." Clive returns the cock to  its cage and the two gaze at the meadow again. "I say,
 Clive...."


"Yes, Wilford?"

"Let's fuck."

"Yes...let's." (More manly grunting  ensues...)  

===============================

A joke from Unk'l Grizz

The Bear Hunter

There once was a bear hunter who was having no luck in finding his quarry. All at once, he felt a tap on his shoulder from behind. It was a huge grizzly bear. The hunter's shock was increased when the bear spoke to him. "You are hunting me, I'll bet", said the bear. "Well, you can choose your punishment. Either I will maul you to death or pork you up the ass!" The hunter didn't want to die, so he consented to give the bear the pleasure of his booty. The bear left satisfied and the hunter returned to his cabin a bit sore.
The next day, the hunter was once again in the woods. But, as luck would have it, the grizzly found him first. Once again, the hunter felt the tap on his shoulder and the bear made his request. The hunter once again dropped his pants, bent over, and took what the beast had to offer, and returned to his cabin feeling pretty violated.
The third day, the hunter was really irate and decided he would torture and kill that bear! After all, since he could talk, he was probably telling all the woodland critters about him taking it up the ass...twice!  Once more, though, the bear was the better hunter. When the man felt the familiar tap on his shoulder, he expected to hear the grizzly's offer of a choice again, but this time the bear just said, "You really didn't come out here to hunt, did ya, boy?"


==========================

A limerick of dubious value:

There once was a bear from Bel Air
Who was doing his cub on the stair
But the banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished him off in mid-air 


(UrsusMajr)
 
===========================

Reprehensible!

There once was a bear from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
He said, with a grin as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was an ass, I'd fuck it!"

(UrsusMajr)

=======================


Not exactly a filthy filk, but a filk none the less... from our Sou'western spy.


I've Already Loved You (in my mind)
parody of a Conway Twitty song


I thought , "I've never seen a guy like him in here before "
And I could see him watching me as I walked across the floor
I asked him if he'd like to dance when the band starts up again
He said I never dance with strangers I don't even know your name

I said we're not exactly strangers you and I
My thoughts were running wild and free as I watched you tonight
Just think about it and you'll find
We're not exactly strangers ...I've already loved you in my mind

The band started playing a slow moving song
He got up and easily moved into my arms
I kept on saying the things a Bear likes to hear
And when the dance was over he whispered in my ear

He said we're not exactly strangers you and I
My thoughts were running wild and free while you held me tight
I thought about it and I find
We're not exactly strangers ...I've already loved you in my mind


-The Bearded Sou'westerner-

======================================


Centerfold
(to the tune of 'Centerfold' by J.Geils Band)



Does he walk? Does he talk?
Does he come complete?
My hometown homeroom hero
Always pulled me from my seat


He was hot as Hades
You'd almost see the flames
The memory of Coach Franklin
Could never cause me pain


Years go by I'm lookin' through
A leather magazine
And there's my hometown hero
On the pages in between



My blood runs cold
My fantasy has just been sold
The grizzly on the centerfold
Grizzly on the centerfold



My blood runs cold
My fantasy has just been sold
The grizzly on the centerfold
Grizzly on the centerfold

Squirming around there in my desk
I was thinkin' about his hairy chest
I was shy I turned away
Before he caught my eye

I was creamin' in my jeans
Thinking about a shower scene
Something had a hold on me
When Franklin passed close by

Those super-furry forearms
Too magical to touch
To see him in his birthday suit
Is really just too much!

My blood runs cold
Yeah my fantasy has just been sold
The grizzly on the centerfold
Grizzly on the centerfold

My blood runs cold
The grizzly on the centerfold
Grizzly on the centerfold
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na

{Now listen}
It's okay I understand
This ain't no never never land
I hope that when this issue's on
I'll see you when your clothes are gone

Take you truck, yes we will
We'll take your truck and drive it
We'll go up to your cabin home
And have some fun in private

After all this time he still looks ripped
The daydreams from my mind are stripped
Oh no, I can't deny it
Oh yeah, I guess I gotta buy it

My blood runs cold
My fantasy has just been sold
The grizzly on the centerfold
Grizzly on the centerfold

My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
The grizzly on the centerfold
Grizzly on the centerfold
Na na na na na na na na na

Alright alright
One two three four
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na

Ho my blood runs cold
My fantasy has just been sold
Coach Franklin is the centerfold
Franklin is the centerfold
<tag to fade>
Na na na na na na na na na


(The Bearded Sou'westerner)
 

=============================

Gnome For Christmas


Well, there's no place for gnomes on the holidays/
No matter how well behaved the gnome/
They will make you unhappy in a million ways/
For the holidays just leave them gnomes at home.

I saw some gnomes from Tennessee. they were headed for/
Pennsylvania to defile some pumpkin pies/
Pennsylvania gnomes leave medical waste, down on Dixie's sunny shores/
From Atlantic to Pacific, their depredations are horrific

See, there's no place for gnomes on the holidays/
Cuz no matter how well behaved the gnome/
They will make you unhappy in a million ways/
For the holidays, just leave them gnomes...at...hoooommmeeeee!!!!



Our 'Joisey Bear

-------------------------------------------------
 


An SM Carol

Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire,
Jack Frost nipping at your cock;
Yuletide carolers strung up o'er the fire,
And folk trussed up like pink pork roasts..

Everybody know some whips and a length of chain,
Will serve to make the season bright;
Tiny imps will cavort with their eyes all aglow
And inflict a load of pain tonight.

Subs know that doms are on their way,
They've got cuffs and other goodies on their sleighs;
And every mother's child will squeal with joy,
To see Mom spank Dad, "You naughty boy!"

And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To pervs from one to ninety-two
Although it's been said many times, many ways:
Know your safe word, all of you!

UrsusMajr

================================
 
A Christmas Filk For You!

(sung to the tune of 'Jingle Bells')

Jingle bears, jingle bears,
Cub nuts all the way;
Oh, what fun it is to ride a bear's butt in the hay!
Jingle bears, jingle bears,
Cub nuts all the way;
Oh, what fun it is to play with all the bears today!
Plowing through the lube,
Deep in a furball's butt;
Make the young cubs squeal,
Make the big bears grunt.
Mid-sized bears here, too,
The short and the long;
Horny furballs everywhere, 
Drop your trousers <sprong!>
Oh......
Jingle bears, jingle bears,
Cub nuts all the way;
Oh, what fun it is to ride a bear's butt in the hay!
Jingle bears, jingle bears,
Cub nuts all the way;
Oh, what fun it is to play with all the bears today!

(UrsusMajr)



============================

Southern California

To the tune of Hotel California, released by The Eagles

 

On a dark desert highway

Cool wind in my fur

Warm smell of tortillas

Drifting into the car

Up ahead in the distance

I saw a Taco Bell light

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim

I had to stop for a bite 

He appeared in the doorway
Looking hot, I could tell
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven or this could be Hell
Then he sat at my table
And invited me his way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say 
Welcome to the Bears of California
Such a lovely place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a furry face
Bears are welcome in Southern California
Any time of year
(Any time of year)
You can find us here 
His mind was perversely twisted
He drives a Mercedes Benz
He's got a lot of pretty, pretty cubs
That he calls "Just friends"
How they snogged in the courtyard
Sweet summer sweat
Some snog to remember
Some snog to forget 
So I called to the night guy
"Please bring me my drink"
He said:"We haven't had tequila here since '69, I think"
And still those voices are calling from far away
Call you out in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say 
Welcome to the Bears of California
Such a lovely Place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a furry face
We're livin' it up here in Southern California
There's a nice surprise
(There's a nice surprise)
Down in Idyllwild...
Straps hung from the ceiling
Dom Perignon on ice
He said:"We are all just victims here
Of our own device"
And in the raftered chambers
We gathered for the fest
Off came his leather jacket
"Gods what a hairy chest!"
Last thing I remember I was running for the street
I had to find my car keys and the place I was last week
"Relax" said the werebear
"You're selected to receive.
You can run if you want to
But you can never leave"

(The Bearded Sou'westerner)
======================== 
Big Bear Teddy
To the tune of "Long Tall Sally" (my apologies to Little Richard) 
I'm gonna tell everybody about Unk'l Grizz  
He claims he has the misery but he's always where it is 
Oh baby, yeah, baby...Ooh baby, havin' me some fun tonight,  
Well, Big Bear Teddy, ain't built for speed 
But he got everything that Unk'l Grizz need 
Oh baby, yeah, baby...Ooh baby, havin' me some fun tonight,  
Well, I saw Unk'l Grizz with Big Bear Ted 
He heard somebody comin' and he hid under the bed 
Oh baby, yeah, baby...Ooh baby, havin' me some fun tonight, 
Ol' Big Bear Teddy, he acts so debonair
He scratch 'im on the whiskers, Grizz jus' rise up in the air 
Oh baby, yeah, baby...Ooh baby, havin' me some fun tonight,
Unk'l Grizz threw a party just the other night
Big Teddy made the scene and it got plumb outta sight 
Oh baby, yeah, baby...Ooh baby, havin' me some fun tonight,  
There was lovin' in the kitchen, there was gropin' in the hall
And doin' da boogie-woogie leaving pawprints on the wall
Oh baby, yeah, baby...Ooh baby, havin' me some fun tonight,  
Owwwwwww!  
We're gonna have some fun tonight We're gonna have some fun tonight 
Ooh, Have some fun tonight Every thing's all right 
Have some fun Have me some fun tonight
A-do-wop-a-be-bop-a-wop-bam-boom!

(The Bearded Sou'westerner)
===================================================


My Bear, a Duet

(sung to 'My Guy', with apologies to Mary Wells)

Cub:
Nothing you could say
Can turn me away from my bear
Nothing you could do
'Cause I'm stuck like glue to my bear
I'm stickin' to my bear
Like a stamp to a letter
Like the birds of a feather
We 'flock' together
I'm tellin' you from the start
I can't be torn apart from my bear


Bear:
Nothing you can do
Could make me untrue to my cub (my cub)
Nothing you could buy
Could make me tell a lie to my cub (my cub, my cub, my cub!)
I gave my cub my word of honor
To be faithful and I'm gonna
You best be believing
I won't be deceiving my cub


Both:
As a matter of opinion I think he's tops
He furry all over, bottom to top
As a matter of taste to be exact
He's my ideal as a matter of fact


Cub:
No muscle bound twink
Could make me shrink from my bear (my bear)
No hairless face
Could ever take the place of my bear (my bear, my bear, my bear!)
He may not be a movie star
But when it comes to being happy we are
There's not a guy today
Who could take me away from my bear


Bear:
There's not a guy today
Who could take me away from my cub
(What you say?)
There's not a guy today
Who could take me away from my cub!

Cub:
There's not a man today
Who could take me away from my bear
(Tell me more)
There's not a man today
Who could take me away from my bear!


(UrsusMajr)

============================

Whackin' Off Is Fun To Do

To be sung to the tune of by Neil Sedaka's Breakin' Up Is Hard To Do:


Down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Whacking off is fun to do

They say that beating off is fun to do
I beat my meat
I know that it's true
Don't say that this is the end
I'll grab my cock and pump it up and we'll be beating off again

I beg of you don't say goodbye
Can't we give our cocks another try?
Come on, cubby, let's start anew
'Cause whacking off is fun to do

(They say that whacking off is fun to do)
Now I know
I know that it's true
(Don't say that we'll go blind)
Instead of watching porn I wish that we were getting off again

I beg of you don't say goodbye
Can't we give our cocks another try?
Come on, cubby, let's start anew
Cause whacking off is fun to do

(Down dooby doo down down)
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down down
Comma, comma, down dooby doo down … <fade>

(UrsusMajr)


----------------------------------------


A couple of really good filks from our southwestern spy:



Bear in My 'Hood  (sung to Norwegian Wood)

I once met a bear, or should I say, he once met me...

He showed me his den, isn't it good, bear in my 'hood?

He asked me to stay and he told me to sit anywhere,

So I glanced around and I noticed he's covered in hair.

I sat there with him, passing the time, it was so fine,

We talked until two until he said, "It's time for bed."

He told me he didn't work mornings and started to grin.

I told him, Me neither ! And snuggled a bit closer to him.

And when I awoke, I was alone, this bear had gone

So I dozed again, isn't it good, bear in my 'hood.



(The Bearded Sou'westerner)




AND 

(apparently this one is all UrsusMajr's fault... he mentioned the phrase free-balling in an email to the southwestern spy, and it set his filthy little mind in motion ;-) )



Free Balling

 (sung to Tom Petty's Free Fallin' )



He's a good cub, livin' in the mountains
Loves Cheese Whiz and America too
He's a good cub, crazy 'bout huggin'
Loves grizzlies and the wilderness too

It's a long day livin' in L. A.
There's a freeway runnin' through the yard
I'm a bad bear, 'cause I don't even miss him
I'm a bad bear for breakin' his heart

And I'm free, I'm free ballin'

All the young cubs walkin' through the valley
Move west down Ventura Blvd
All the bad bears are standing in the shadows
All the good cubs are home with broken hearts

And I'm free, I'm free ballin'



I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write his name in the sky
I wanna hang-glide while wearing nothin'
Gonna leave this world for a while

And I'm free, I'm free ballin'...
 

(The Bearded Sou'westerner)


=================================

Another suggested post from our southwestern spy:


Bearded Again... 

(sung to the tune of Brittany Spears' 'Oops, I did it again')



Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-woof! Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa-woof! 



Heck yes!  I'm bearded again...

I made you believe I don't have split ends... 

Oh baby, it looks like a brush... 

But that doesn't mean I'm not serious.... 

'Cause I've tossed all my razors... 

Just because I've gotta be me... 

Oh baby, baby... 



Woof! I did it again I grew a big beard 

I'm combing my mane oh baby, baby 

Woof! I'm not a bear-god...that was sent from above 

I'm not that innocent 



You see my problem is this 

I'm loathing to shave 

Wishing terminal strands do exist 

I try not trimming these days 
And I'm saving money in so many ways 
But to toss all my razors 
That is just so typically me 
Oh baby, baby 

Woof! I did it again I grew a big beard 
I'm combing my mane oh baby, baby 
Woof! I'm not a bear-god...that was sent from above 
I'm not that innocent


(The Bearded Sou'westerner)

--------------------------  


And another suggested post from our southwestern spy:


REDNECK LOVE POEM

SUSIE LEE DONE FELL IN LOVE;
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL
SHE TOLD HER PAPPY SO.

PAPPY TOLD HER, SUSIE GAL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YO' MA DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

SO SUSIE PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY BILL;
BUT AFTER TELLING PAPPY THIS,
HE SAID, "THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.

YOU CAN'T MARRY BILL, MY GAL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YO' MOTHER,
BUT BILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MO'
I KNOW IS YO' HALF BROTHER.

BUT MAMA KNEW AND SAID, MY CHILD,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY.
MARRY BILL OR MARRY JOE,
YOU AIN'T NO KIN TO PAPPY.
====================

While on the topic of pop songs, our southwestern spy provided us with this filk, sung to the tune of Connie Francis' 'Where the Boys Are':


Where The Bears Are

(sans Connie Francis)



Where the bears are, someone waits for me 

A furry face, a warm embrace, 

Strong arms to hold me lovingly 

Where the bears are, my true love will be 

He's shamblin' down some street in town and 

I know he's lookin' there for me 



In the crowd of a million people 

I know I'll find this bear so fine 

And then I'll climb to the highest steeple 

And tell the world he's mine 



Till he holds me,  I wait impatiently 

Where the bears are, where the bears are 

Where the bears are, someone waits for me 



Till he holds me,  I wait impatiently 
Where the bears are, where the bears are 
Where the bears are, someone waits for me 



(The Bearded Sou'westerner)
 
-----------------


A couple of us were thinking about 50's and 60's pop music (hey, we're 'of an age'!)...


Courthouse of Love

Sung to the tune of the Dixie Cups' "Chapel of Love":

Goin' to the courthouse and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the courthouse and we're gonna get married
Gee, I really love you and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the courthouse in love

Spring is here, the sky is blue, whoa oh oh
Cubs all sing as if they knew
Today's the day we'll say, "I do"
And we'll never be lonely anymore because we're

Goin' to the courthouse and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the courthouse and we're gonna get married
Gee, I really love you, bear, so let's get married
Goin' to the courthouse in love

Bells will ring, the sun will shine, whoa oh oh
I'll be his and he'll be mine
Bears and mates, 'til the end of time
And we'll never be lonely anymore because we're

Goin' to the courthouse and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the courthouse and we're gonna get married
Bear, I really love you and we're gonna get married
Goin' to the courthouse in love

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Goin' to the courthouse in love
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Goin' to the courthouse in love

(UrsusMajr)

-----------------------

Hairy1 suggested that Unk'l Grizz post this, because of the (to us) double meaning.  And Unk'l Grizz does love him some Bob Seger now and again:


"Come To Papa"

If the sun
Ain't shinin bright
And the moon the moon
Won't shine for you tonight
If the stars in the sky gone away
And you feel
Feelin real slow down today
If life gets hard to understand
And the whole thing is getting out of hand
Come to Papa
Come see your Papa

If you need a pacifier
Call me anytime
I'll try to be your satisfier
If you feel
Like a horse
Blazin' at the bit
Call my number
Anytime night or day
I'll get ya fixed
If life gets hard to understand
And your whole life is way out of hand
Come to Papa
Come see your Papa 

(The Bearded Sou'westerner) 
 =================================


Another southwestern contribution...

There was a young pervert named Ben...
Whose conscious thoughts centered on sin...

He pulled down his knickers...

And also the vicar's...

And said, "How 'bout it, auld yin*?"



*highlander brogue for 'old man.'


======================


A contribution from our southwestern spy...


The king, so the newspaper said

Was pleased when a page gave him head

But was more pleased when two

Did a synchronized do

While the king did a double-page spread

(anon)

=====================


The was a young cub named Ricky,
Who grabbed an old bear by his dickie.
When he gave it a pull,
It became quite full,
And his hand came away quite sticky.


(UrsusMajr)

===============================

There once was a bearman from Perth,

Who's package was known for its girth.

All the cubs from down under,

Said he spread them asunder,

As he responded with giggles of mirth!



(The Bearded Sou'westerner)

=================================

This one started out when I sent Papa Werebear the following:
"I am the very model of a hyper horny polar bear"


Our friend Joe sent this addition:
"I am the very model of a hyper-horny polar bear,
With asses right and asses left there's hardly cause for my despair;
If only one were nearer still,
My Cubby's butt I'd surely fill,
Then both would be the model of a modern merry polar bear."


Papa Werebear applied his prodigious filking talents and created the following, to be sung to a possibly-recognizable song by the Misters Gilbert and Sullivan  (cue music):

I Am the Very Model Of a Hyper-horny Polar Bear

I am a grand example of an Ursine Individual,
I've fur from top to bottom very like the real animal,
I've taxonomic knowledge rightly sorted categorical,
From polar bear and panda, otter, grizzly, wolf and that's not all!
I'm well versed in the use of items lewd and recreational,
From dildos, whips and chains to beads and objects mostly medical,
About abdominal access I've several entertaining views,
From sources like The Joy of Sex to Kama Sutra I peruse.

I'm very good at fellating and copulate most furious;
My technique is unparalleled and just a bit notorious:
In short, in matters bearish, being sensual and conjugal
I am a grand example of an Ursine Individual.

I know our clothing choices, flannel, leather and warm woolen socks;
I'm aware of pipe tobaccos and contents of the cigar box,
I quote major athletic feats both standard and anomalous,
Statistics from the moderate, the brief and the voluminous,
Of hockey or of football teams my data's all encompassing,
My knowledge of the NBA; profound and quite astonishing,
When asked about the baseball scores you know that I can tell you more
Than experts at ESPN or any paper heretofore.

Then I can jot erotic prose far from the set and standard forms,
And detail military, rubber and athletic uniforms.
In short, in matters bearish, being truthful or material
I am a grand example of an Ursine Individual.

The fact that I know what is meant by Salad Toss and Tea Baggin
Will tell you most succinctly what the state is that my mind is in.
When I'm ashamed to take my sheets down to the local Laundromat,
And when I throw a wild soire I must bump up the thermostat.
When I have learned the knot-craft needed for perverse activity,
When I know more of leather and increased my stern authority;
In short when I have goodly lore of control and captivity
You'll say a grander Grizzly Bear has never taught conformity!

For knowledge of the delicious, superior and savoury,
The hedonistic and divine, the pinnacle of luxury;
But still, in matters bearish, being sexual or edible,
I am a grand example of an Ursine Individual!

(Papa Werebear)
===============================================

There once was an ol' bear from Nantucket,
Who's response to a cub was to fuck it.
Just to be rude,
He lay in the nude;
And told the young cub, "Come on, SUCK it!"
(UrsusMajr)

===============================================

A filk of  The Platter's classic, Twilight Time, by our bearded southwestern spy:

Nekkid Time

Heavenly shades of night are falling, it's nekkid time
Out of the mist the cubs are calling, it's nekkid time
When purple-colored curtains mark the end of day,
I'll hear you, my bear, at nekkid time.

Deepening shadows gather splendor as trousers drop
Zippers and snaps will soon surrender, and spit we'll swap;
I count the moments, woofer, till you are here with me
Together, at last, at nekkid time.

Here, in the afterglow of sex, we laze about the bed beneath the sheets
And, in the same and sweet old way I fall in love again as I did then.

Deep in the dark our fur will mesh, just like days of old,
Deep in your fur my paw will find your cock and balls to hold.
Each day I pray for evening just to be with you
Together, at last, at nekkid time.

Here, in the dark and silent room, we caress each other's bulk and hum a tune;
And, in the same and sweet old way we fall asleep as again we spoon.

Deep in the dark your seed will fill me, my ursine stud,
Lighting the spark of love that fills me with your warm flood.
Each day I pray for evening just to be with you
Together, at last, at nekkid time
Together.... at last, at nekkid time!


(The Bearded Sou'westerner)
======================================

From the depths of the crypt at St. Giles,
Came a scream that resounded for miles.
Said the vicar, 'Good gracious!
Has Father Ignatius
Forgotten the Bishop has piles?'

(Anon.)









8 comments:

  1. Ahh,sweet 'Nekkid Time'! To be with the one you love,making each other happy,knowing that he's yours and you're his...mmmmmm! And, "I am the very model of a hyper horny polar bear"....ROTFLOL! Gilbert & Sullivan [surely] never thought of their work in THOSE terms,heheh!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a great addition to the blog! Thank you for adding this section - Unk'l Grizz is rather a dirty minded ol' bear, which I heartily approve of!

    ReplyDelete
  3. When will the model of UrsusMajr the hyper horny polar bear be available in The Writing Bear's Cave Store? It is blow up and anatomically correct, right? Will you sell the batteries to go along with it?

    ReplyDelete
  4. 'Come to Papa','Chapel of Love',and 'Where The Bears Are'...a fine double entendre,a fun update of a classic pop song,and an excellent rewrite of the Connie Francis tune: now all that's needed is someone with a fine b[e]aritone voice to sing them!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I just happen to know someone with a bear-i-tone voice. "The Bearded Sou'westerner"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That was not implying that The Bearded Sou'westerner has a singing voice...he doesn't, but he knows someone who does...just had to clear that up a bit! ;-{)}

      Delete
  6. "My Bear" (a duet): I love it! Bravo,Ursus!

    ReplyDelete
  7. 'Jingle Bears'....ROTFLMAO!! That sounds like the perfect way to celebrate the occasion!

    ReplyDelete