(This is a work of fiction, and no real persons or events are depicted. Safe sex practices are not depicted; but in real life, get tested and always play safe. If you have comments, please contact the author at firstname.lastname@example.org)
(Copyright 2017, all rights reserved. No part may be reproduced electronically or otherwise without the author's express permission)
Lightning flashed, illuminating the dark heavy clouds which hid the full moon. Rain fell steadily from the sky, as freely as the tears now flowing down Roy's face. Thunder rolled over him, the bass boom barely noticed as sobs wracked his body. The curtain moved slightly as the moisture laden breeze wafted across him, bringing the sharp scent of ozone from the lightning as well as the fresh scent of the newly water laden lawn.
Those scents, however, meant nothing to Roy, whose grief had flared back to the forefront of his mind as he realized that the scent he needed, that he craved, was now gone forever, and by his own hand. It had been several weeks since the car accident had taken Jeff from him, what was supposed to be a simple errand after work tearing his soul in two. He had stood there on the deck at the grill, awaiting his partner's arrival before putting the steaks on, when he heard his cell phone ring, saw it was Jeff calling. “Probably forgot what it was he was picking up” he thought to himself with a small smile.
“Hello. To whom am I speaking?” replied a strange voice.
“Huh? Who is this, why are you using Jeff's phone?”
“Sir, who am I speaking to? Are you a relative of Jeffery Malloy?”
“This is Roy. Jeff is my husband. Who are you? Why are you on his phone?” replied Roy, getting irritated.
“Roy, I'm Officer Janet Diaz. I'm using the I.C.E. number on Mr. Malloy's phone. I'm sorry to inform you that ….” Things got blurry in Roy's memory after that. Officer Diaz telling him there had been an accident, asking him if he could come to the hospital. Arriving too late to even say good-bye or one last “I love you”. Identifying Jeff's body, going through the motions of funeral arrangements as if he was a robot. Sobbing as he held and was held by Jeff's parents, stunned at the loss of their son. The parade of their friends at the wake, offering condolences. The wall of pictures that Jeff's sister Beth had created for the wake, a Tree of his Life and Love. Jeff and Roy had been together 15 years, finally able to actually marry so recently, be recognized not just by family and friends for the couple they were but by the world, and it was all torn asunder, cut short. He gazed at their wedding picture, two big bearded men kissing like love struck teenagers, thinking that the passion of their wedding night wasn't much behind what it would have been if they had been teenagers. A few short weeks had gone by now, and he had been going through life automatically; meals kindly brought by friends at first, work a necessary distraction. He had finally brought himself to change the sheets on their bed, emptying the last of Jeff's clothes from the hamper and washing them, only to realize as he folded the last of them that all he smelled was the scent of the fabric softener, that the last of the scent of Jeff was gone now, the intoxicating aroma of the man he loved. Sure, he had the cologne Jeff had used, but the unique chemistry that happened when it was on Jeff, mixing with Jeff's own clean musky scent, it was gone. That last small conduit to his reality, to a life that wasn't empty, and he had freaking washed it down the drain.
As the realization set in, grief hit him like a brick wall. His vision darkened, his chest tightened, it was hard to breath, and the tears started. He tried to walk away, but fell to a knee instead, sobs taking him. How could he feel so empty yet so full of grief? His mind spun through all the recriminations, the thought of why he had let Jeff run to the store after work, yet knowing it wasn't unreasonable because Jeff had done so a thousand times. The thought of Jeff after the accident, blindsided by the drunk driver, in pain, with no one to comfort him, no one to hold him, no one to tell him it would all be alright, all alone. Roy felt he should have been there, even though he knew this was a nonsensical idea. He couldn't get past it though, couldn't and wouldn’t forgive himself.
The lightning had obviously struck something, as the lights flickered and went out. Roy didn't notice, or didn't care, there was no difference between the two anymore. Still on his knees, he leaned against the side of the bed, clutching Jeff's freshly laundered undergarments, lost in his own darkness and grief, adrift in his sorrow.
Eventually the rain stopped, though Roy's tears did not. The breeze had died away; the evening was quiet again, wrapping him in stillness and silence, leaving him to himself, a desolate spirit lost in the night. The storm outside passed, the clouds broke, and the full moon peered through the window, casting Roy in its’ cold light as the curtain billowed out momentarily.
Sagging back, resting his ass on his heels, bowed over the tear dampened briefs laying loose in his lap now, he didn't notice the teardrops freely falling from his face begin to dissipate midair, turning rapidly to mist and then disappearing. Didn't feel the sweat on his brow, heavy as he had been so worked up, rapidly do the same, barely registering the chill as that happened, the shudder hidden within his sobs.
What eventually registered with him was the light touch of a finger under his chin, barely felt through his beard, gently lifting his gaze upward. Opening his eyes, his vision blurred and watery, he saw a large translucent figure standing over him, the moonlight shining through it, feeling the finger which had lifted his chin gently caress his cheek. He blinked, once, twice, and rather than disappearing as his eyesight cleared, the specter became sharper. A large naked man, sizeable belly, big beard, hairy arms and chest. His large man. His bear. His love.
“Jeff?” he whispered, reaching out, his hand passing through the figure, which parted before him like mist.
“Yes, Roy” said the figure, in a voice more like a sigh, like the wind rustling through tall grass, barely heard yet distinct.
“You can't be real, I must be imagining it, you're dead” Roy said, slowly getting to his feet, his eyes drawn to the images' body, to the body he had loved for so long.
“I don't know, Roy, I don't know. I guess I know I'm dead, I don't remember things very clearly" said the apparition, its’ throat and face becoming more solid as it spoke while the rest faded slightly. "I'm so sorry I left you, I shouldn't have ..."
Roy was a logical man who also believed that not everything could be explained. Ghosts and spirits, the paranormal overall, he thought most likely existed in some fashion, just not in a way he understood. He didn't know if he was experiencing a dream or a delusion or reality in some form, but he quickly decided there was no harm in going along with it for now, whereas to reject it outright would mean he'd never know.
“Jeff, stop, please. I’ve been beating myself up over not being there for you, it isn’t your fault. I should have been there. I love you so much; I never told you that at the end.”
Jeff gave his small smile. “I don’t really remember the end, Roy. I remember loving you, I remember knowing you loved me, I remember not wanting to leave you. You not saying it in that last moment doesn’t mean I didn’t know didn’t experience it every waking day of my life. Don’t sweat the silly stuff.”
“That saying is just as dumb as the first time you said it 15 years ago, you know. And I still adore it.”
“I am damn adorable, that much we know.”
“Still full of yourself, I see.”
“You just want to be full of me.”
Roy laughed out loud, the quick give and take so much like when Jeff had been with him, the easy comradery, the comfortable flirting. He reached out a hand, very carefully placing it on the misty shoulder of his love, feeling substance that was just barely there. “I’ll always be in love with you, Jeff. Always.”
“And I with you Roy.”
“Uh, so, no mystical disappearing act now that we’ve said our ‘I love you’s? What happens next?”
“I don’t know. I’m here, I don’t know how or why. I’ll stay as long as I can.”
“It seems like your ghost is made of mist or water, yet somehow solid. Not a lot of it though. If only all that rain was part of it, I’d be complaining that you needed to diet.”
Jeff laughed. “You never liked it when I did diet.”
“Because you were so cranky.”
“Because you liked the love handles.”
“They are sexy.” Both man and ghost snorted.
“I think it’s only the moisture from your body, your tears, your sweat. Must be all that DNA we shared still in action.”
“Then let’s share a little more” said Roy, leaning forward and opening his mouth, feeling soft lips cover his, the memory of a tongue pass his lips and brush against his teeth, dancing against his own tongue. Felt his mouth go dry as the tongue exploring it became more solid, willing himself to salivate more, feeling the tears of joy leaking from his eyes also flash away. His arms could now hold Jeff and he felt Jeff’s arms around him faintly. He shuddered and breathed a happy sigh as the kiss broke. They stood with foreheads touching, gently holding each other.
“That was really nice.”
“It really was. It might be nicer if you were naked too though.”
“I was wondering about that. Do you appear to all the guys naked?”
“Yes, I’m the Ghost of Sex, Past, Present and Future“ Jeff deeply intoned with a laugh. “I’ve only appeared to you, and only want to appear to you. And I don’t know, I guess clothes aren’t really part of you, so they don’t come back? I could try to materialize some for you.”
“Do that, stud, and the next liquid you get will be a golden shower!”
“You always did piss like a draft horse.”
“That was meant to be a threat.”
“You are such a perv.”
“You love it.”
“Lucky for you I do.”
“So, why aren’t your clothes off yet? I thought that was where this was going?”
“You have a one track mind.”
“Like you aren’t on the same path.”
“Well, yeah” said Roy with a smile as he stepped back from Jeff and quickly shucked his t-shirt, first his padded belly then his broad hairy chest coming into view. He gave the shirt a quick twirl over his head and tossed it towards the hamper, watching as appreciation lit Jeff’s eyes. He unbuckled his belt and pulled it through the loops, laughing, before tossing it as well, then unbuttoned his jeans and let them drop to the floor before trying to step out of them and almost tripping, falling on his behind to the bed. He laughed.
“So much for a sexy strip tease. As usual, you get the graceless wonder instead” he giggled as he pulled his feet from the legs of the jeans, removing his socks at the same time, then lifting his ass to pull his briefs off.
“Roy, nothing could be sexier” said the ghost, with a now evident erection. “Just relax.”
Roy was sure he heard a deep rumbling growl in the whispering voice now, that or more thunder in the distance, and felt gentle hands on his shoulders push him backwards on the bed, his legs still draped over the edge. Looking towards the end of the bed, he saw the spirit slowly sink to its’ knees between his legs, felt the brush of a beard against the tip of his still soft cock then gently trail over his balls. He spread his legs wider with a sigh. “That feels so good.”
The ghost chuckled softly and kept softly running his beard over Roy’s balls, whisper soft touches, then over his inner thighs. Roy’s cock slowly came to life, and Jeff ran his beard up the underside of it then across the tip again. Looking down, Roy saw most of the spirit become more transparent just as his mouth encircled Roy’s cock head, running his tongue around it. Roy jerked at the sensation, realizing how deep his need had become, and felt the pre-cum start to slowly leak. As Jeff licked and swallowed the pre-cum, taking it into himself, his form gained more substance, and he began to sink down on Roy’s throbbing member, going up and down slowly, deeper each time, eventually taking it into his throat and holding it in his mouth. His hands reach up and caressed Roy’s belly and then his nipples, causing his lover to squirm in pleasure. Each spurt of pre-cum granted the ghost more substance, which he was determined to put to good use.
Releasing Roy’s cock, Jeff slowly teased it with kisses, and then began to lick Roy’s balls. As Roy lifted and spread his legs, Jeff showered the inner thighs with butterfly kisses, then gentle nibbles, all the while running his hands over Roy, caressing the furry body of his lover. Roy tried to reach down and caress him back, but found there to be not enough substance, that the ghost could only focus on certain parts being material.
“Just lay back and let me take care of you, Roy.”
So Roy did, focusing on receiving pleasure from his partner, pleasure which he desperately needed, feeling it fill some of that aching empty space within him. Soon he was panting and sweating, moaning Jeff’s name. Jeff turned his attention back to Roy’s cock, quickly swallowing it. He cupped Roy’s balls as he ran his tongue up and down the length, and then applied suction, bobbing up and down vigorously. The fingers on his other hand found Roy’s nipple and flicked across it, causing a gasp and shudder. Pre-cum oozed freely now, and Roy began to buck his hips.
“I can’t hold it, Jeff. Fuck don’t stop. Fuck fuck fuck. I love you!”
With that, rope after rope of pent up cum shot out of Roy, straight into the ghosts’ mouth and down his throat. Jeff swallowed greedily, the sweet salty taste something he had always loved. He held Roy’s cock in his mouth the entire time, not losing any of the large load, until it began to soften. He released it then, knowing how sensitive his lover became after, and looked up, to seeing Roy beaming that wonderful happy post sex smile at him.
“Thank you Jeff. Oh thank you.”
“My pleasure, my love” said Jeff, as he stood, then bent over Roy, leaning in until he rested on top of him, and covered his mouth with his own. The kiss was soft and full of love, full of need satisfied for now. Jeff rolled them to their sides and indicated that they should move up the bed, which Roy happily complied with, the two bears facing each other, belly to naked belly, kissing and snuggling, Jeff’s leg up over Roy just as it should be. Roy could now feel all of Jeff, including a not so tentative poking.
“Guess my cum was sorta the magic juice, huh, big guy. You’re all firm and solid now.”
“Getting there, stud, getting there” growled Jeff, beginning to nibble on Roy’s lip and slowly rub their hips together. “Better be more where that came from.”
As Jeff moved to suck on Roy’s nipples, Roy now able to carefully caress his hairy shoulders, Roy found himself responding, his cock slowly coming back to life. The men explored each other, delighting as they always did in every aspect of their bodies, and soon enough Roy felt Jeff’s hand milking his cock, squeezing it hard.
“I don’t know, I already shot hard.”
With that, Jeff’s swung into a sixty-nine position and his mouth softly covered Roy’s cock, holding it carefully without too much pressure. He ran his tongue slowly over the underside of the glans, very gently, over and over, and then swallowed him whole carefully before coming back up to the glans only again. Roy took Jeff’s cock into his own mouth, feeling it rigid and hard, but as he greedily sucked finding it lacked enough substance.
“Give it time lover, go slow and gentle. No rush.”
The men lavished their love on each other then, very softly sucking cocks and balls, caressing asses, re-learning each other as they did every time they made love. Once Roy began to shudder, Jeff rolled them so that Roy was on his back and Jeff covered him, and he began to work Roy’s cock in earnest, Roy pinned and holding as tight as he could. Again the pre-cum was flowing, and it lubed the mouth sucking his cock before being swallowed away. Jeff took a precious dollop of the pre-cum on his finger, and then reached under Roy, spreading his crack, and carefully slid the lubed finger up his hole. He carefully widened it as Roy gasped, then dove deep to hit the prostate. Roy bucked and jumped, gasping, and then gushed with cum, a wracking intense orgasm.
Again Jeff held his lover’s cock in his mouth until it softened, until he felt Roy relax. He turned again, looking down, gazing at the body of the man he loved.
Roy looked up, seeing the rugged beauty of his man, both inside and out, and smiled, holding out his arms. Jeff settled into him, and the men kissed again.
It may have been minutes, it may have been hours, but time is of no consequence when you are with your other half, it simply matters that you are. They kissed and loved and talked and gazed into each other’s eye, eternity existed within the blink of an eye and it was enough. Each moment treasured but no better than the previous or following, the present was what mattered because it defined the past and future.
Much later, or all too soon, Jeff’ need came to the point of no control. Feeling Jeff’s ghostly cock heat up and throb, Roy knew now was the time.
“Jeff, fuck me. Please. I need to feel you.”
“Roy, love, this should be about you.”
“No, it has been and is about us. Stop being an oaf and fuck me already.”
Jeff kissed Roy hard, and Roy felt the solidity of his form, knew it could happen.
When two people love each other, the needs of one are the needs of the other. Demands aren’t just that, they are expressions of mutual needs and don’t require explanations or softening. Jeff rolled Roy to his stomach and lifted his hips easily, thrusting a pillow under him. Neither said a word, uttered a sound, until Jeff spread Roy’s ass checks and a ghostly tongue licked Roy’s hole, softly but surely. The moans started then. Jeff rimmed Roy slowly and just how he liked it, circling the hole for a good long time before softly touching and teasing it, then swiping over it again and again before pushing against it. Roy slowly opened to Jeff’s tongue, relaxing and letting the pleasure flow over him. Yet again pre-cum leaked strongly from him. He gasped and writhed and groaned, finally it was too much
“Fuck me. Fuck me NOW! I need it.”
If he had been listening closely, not lost in the pleasure, he would have heard the frustration in the ghosts’ growl, but he did feel when the ghost backed away and headed to the nightstand, grumbling that having no spit was a damn pain in the ass, and then felt the cool drizzle of lube hit his gaping hole.
After lubing himself (and spilling on the floor through his ghostly paw), Jeff slowly slid his cock between Roy’s hairy butt cheeks, savoring the feel of it, taking his time to find the hole, then just pressing gently against it, flexing his own ass muscles to make his cock twitch and tickle it. He slowly rocked back and forth, his hands caressing Roy’s hips, as he concentrated on making his cock, hips and hands as substantial as he could.
While the teasing felt good, the repeated pleasuring he had already received made Roy eager, and he knew what he wanted. Gathering his knees, he pushed up and back just as the cock crossed his opening again, forcing the head past his sphincter in one move, gasping in delight.
“Oh, you want it that way, do you baby” growled Jeff, grabbing Roy’s hips and plunging himself the rest of the way in, hard and fast. No matter how fast, Roy felt it in slow motion, felt the flared head of Jeff’s cock hit his prostate and rub across it, then the underside of Jeff’s shaft massaging it as it glided across. Felt it as Jeff bottomed out in him, his ass knowing every ridge and vein of the intruder, hugging it and loving it. Felt Jeff’s hips against his ass, solid and firm. Felt the soft touch of Jeff’s balls resting against his. His ass felt split asunder yet full of pleasure.
“You need a good fucking, do you? You still have the hottest ass ever, babe, and it’s mine” growled Jeff, as he pulled back, then rammed back in, and started to rapidly piston into the eager hole. Roy felt Jeff’s pre-cum adding to the lube inside him, as he himself began to leak heavily due to the attention his prostate was getting, though no drop of it hit the sheets. Jeff kept at it, shifting position occasionally to hit different spots, making Roy stretch open wider.
Once Jeff could see Roy begin to tire of the rapid stimulation, he released Roy’s hips and moved his hands up to his shoulders, pressing him face down yet ass up, forcing himself in deep and holding there. Roy tried to push back, but between the grip on his shoulders and Jeff’s hips, he was held in place, moaning. Slowly Jeff pulled back, Roy feeling every inch come slowly out of him, feeling himself closing up and empty, until just the tip remained inside him. Then Jeff slowly pushing himself back in, not hurried or rushed, focusing on the combination of warmth and softness yet tightness of his lover’s ass as it welcomed him back. With each slow measured stroke, Jeff praised his lover, told him how good it felt, how handsome he was, how much he missed everything about him. Each time Jeff’s bull balls caressed Roy’s, they contracted a bit, and his control slipped a bit more.
Eventually, Jeff let go of Roy’s shoulders and leaned forward, his big belly against Roy’s lower back, planting kisses between Roy’s shoulder blades. His hands reached around and his fingers played with Roy’s nipples. His penetration was much shallower this way, but it left his cock head constantly massaging Roy’s prostate.
Roy loved the feel of Jeff pressed against him, even without the weight. He felt secure and loved.
“I love you Jeff, I love you so much. That feels so good, big man, so good.”
At that, Jeff’s thrusts began to get more erratic, his breath coming hard and fast across Roy’s back, and while Roy was also lost in the moment, he knew what he still needed.
The only response was a low growl.
“Jeff, I want to finish on my back. I want to see you.”
“Yeah babe yeah soon.”
Roy knew Jeff wouldn’t hold on until ‘soon’, the two men had been through it all together. It wasn’t dominance or inconsideration, the two men treated each other as nothing but equals who cared deeply and completely for each other. Jeff had just reached that point he had taken Roy to multiple times already that evening, where the world becomes focused on one event. But Roy knew his lover well, and what he wanted, so without hesitation he pushed up with both hands and rolled Jeff off of him, a much easier task when there was so little weight involved.
“Huh, what …”
“I said, we’re finishing on my back, you big lug.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry” Jeff grinned sheepishly.
“No sorry, you have work left” Roy said, as he raised his ass and pulled the pillow under it.
Jeff grinned wolfishly as he quickly moved his substance from his belly to his shoulders, and lifted Roy’s legs up to them as he aimed his cock at the still ready hole.
The brief respite had brought Jeff somewhat down from the edge, at least enough that he didn’t shoot as soon as he entered his lover. He looked straight into Roy’s eyes, and said “I love you” just as he sank himself in, causing Roy’s head to fall back as he howled in ecstasy, his hands tightly gripping the sheets.
Jeff plunged in deep, and then set a steady pace, gazing at his lover’s body, taking it in, enjoying the exquisite feel of being inside the man he loved. Roy looked back up on Jeff’s body, the man he had spent so many years loving and being loved by, and as always marveled at the magnificence of it, the rugged beauty. He tried to reach up to try to tweak Jeff’s nipples, but could do no more than barely caress them, which brought a moan and faster thrusting. He watched as Jeff began to sweat, the beaded droplets dissipating back into mist. He felt his own body responding yet again, the repeated attack on his prostate giving him no respite, and pre-cum began to flow yet again. As his pre-cum evaporated, he felt his hole lubed more and more by Jeff’s pre-cum. As he moaned in pleasure, he felt Jeff’s deliberate pace falter and become uneven, saw Jeff’s eyes glaze as panted harder and harder.
Suddenly, Jeff’s head tilted back and he bellowed a roar of triumph, a declaration that he had mated with the one he desired above all, as he pushed his cock in deep one last time and let loose. Hot bear seed filled Roy, the pulsing cock filling him with heat and immense pleasure, and he let loose as well. Rope after rope of cum shot from his erect cock, splattering against Jeff’s belly, to be rapidly absorbed in.
Jeff held himself still, the after spasms rocking him, wanting to be inside Roy as long as he could. Eventually he had to ease Roy’s legs off his shoulders and lean in to softly kiss him.
“Thank you, my love.”
“Thank you, for all of it.”
As they were hanging half off the bed, the two men disengaged with all the ease they could. Roy moved up to rest his head on a pillow, Jeff came around and laid out next to him, eventually they ended up with Jeff spooned up behind Roy. Jeff softly nuzzled the back of Roy’s neck and shoulders, while Roy held and kissed Jeff’s fingers. They talked, expressed their love, shared memories and joy at a new memory made, and as the gentle moonlight bathed their exhausted bodies, fell asleep cuddled close to each other.
Roy woke as sunlight streamed in the window, alone in their bed. He knew Jeff was gone. He rolled over on his back, saw the indentation in Jeff’s pillow as if a head had been resting there. The room smelled of Jeff, and of man sex. He stretched, his muscles achy in a good way, the way they did after any great night of intense love making. As he stretched his legs, he felt the telltale stickiness between his ass cheeks that showed he had been fucked well and good, and that some cum had leaked out. He found himself thinking of Jeff in a happy way, still grieving but not lost in recriminations. He loved Jeff, always would, and he knew Jeff felt the same. Real or not as the night was, he felt some measure of closure.
Eventually he got up, did his morning routine and made coffee. Coming back to the room, he saw the bottle of lube lying on the bed, smiled, and picked it up. As he walked around the bed to the nightstand to put it away, his foot found the small puddle of lube on the floor. He laughed, grabbed a towel and cleaned it up. Going to put the towel in the hamper, he picked up the clothes he had so poorly tossed towards it the night before. Dropping them in, he spied something under the dresser next to the hamper. He bent over to see, it was a pair of Jeff’s used underwear, a pair he had missed in his cleaning. Obviously Jeff had as good an aim for the hamper as he did. Humming to himself, he walked to the kitchen to toss it into a Ziploc, wanting to retain the scent for as long as he could.
He decided he’d never know if a ghost really came to him, or if he imagined it, despite the circumstantial evidence. But he knew that whatever it was, it was what he had needed, and he thanked Jeff for it, for being with him always and forever.
Now if he could just resist the urge to join a pottery class.